Deadpool Review

deadpool final

Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: June 25, 2013

deadpool tag 3

The Dark Knight has shown the gaming hemisphere how to perfect the fusion of comic book hero and game, but he is the lone example. Wolverine and Spider-Man have had respectable entries — Whoa, whoa, whoa, who cares about that lame Parker kid when he never returns my calls? We’re focusing on me! Not an orphaned bat or my BFF Logan. Me. Deadpool, the one and only. — Wait, you’re highjacking my review on my website just because it is your game? — Yes, nerd. I made my own game so I’ll make my own totally unbiased, not paid-off review of the best game ever. — “Best game ever” might be overselling, but at least High Moon Studios nailed your undeniable charm, wit, and forth-wall breaking tendencies. Although they seemed to forget to brush up on your swordplay.

High Moon Studios rejected my offer to make a totally chimichanga-d out game with boobs starring yours truly, but they soon rethought their stupid, ignorant decision. Finally realizing their shortsightedness, they came back to me begging for a second chance. Although those sneaky assholes slid a fast one by me by trying to make me follow their script. Not in my world. Crayons and a lot of machismo fixed that.

Hey Cable, buddy. Whatcha doin'?

Hey Cable, buddy. Whatcha doin’?

So I tried to follow their boring script although I was usually daydreaming about Rogue and Domino sucking face on each other during most scenes. — Let me cut you off there. Deadpool’s ignorance and constant forth-wall breaking makes the usual, rote plot something worth commending. The bland monologues and hyper-serious plot details try to push the narrative forward, but are always met with hilariously juvenile Deadpool antics that are commentaries on how pointless comic book video game stories are. Deadpool is making fun of the whole thing right in front of your face and the whole “meta” humor charm never fades away after a first few jokes. Its irreverent, bombastic quips are hilarious throughout, even when it is openly mocking you, the player. — Damn straight, dick wipe. I’m always funny as shit.

Focusing on what Deadpool does best — humor and breaking the forth wall — coalesce wonderfully throughout the entire seven hour journey and, frankly, doesn’t grow old. I’ll be honest in saying that I was expecting the game to blow its load — Tee hee! — within the first hour, falling on old jokes and grating my nerves along the way. — Pfft! Never! Around every corner, I made sure that High Moon Studios didn’t fuck me over as a character and remained true to my roots. It was mostly the constant threat of killing them in a mess of guts and Cheetos at their desks, but they finally got the message: Put something new around every corner and don’t go for the same joke again. John did that once. We didn’t hear from John again. Mainly because I “accidentally” killed him. Allegedly. The ones who took my brilliant advice came up with clever little funnies to place through the campaign with superb pacing. I even have a large array of funny one-liners during combat!

This is only my second biggest gun.

This is only my second biggest gun.

But that combat doesn’t hold a candle to your true potential, Deadpool. — Yeah, maybe if you’re an ass-scratching noob who can’t handle my awesomeness. — No, more because I’ve played some of the best action games like DmC Devil May Cry and God of War. At the ground level, Deadpool is a hack and slash and third-person shooter hybrid. Sometimes you use basic combos with three assorted melee weapons to dispose of units and other times you fill them full of lead with an assortment of upgradeable guns. Simple combos and weapon switching can yield cheap thrills and seamlessly integrating the third-person shooting gives the game a natural change of pace. — So what’s the problem? Sounds like a chimichanga on a hot date which is something you’ll never do. The date part. I’m sure they sell chimichangas at Costco.

Anyway, the problem here is when the two don’t interplay with the expected finesse. Hacking away at melee troops is par for the course but getting peppered by someone with a rifle in the same battle feels cheap and can easily kill you. Ninja Gaiden has always had this problem, but it was never as deadly since you didn’t have effective means to fire back. It was more of a way to damage you slightly over a period of time.

Since Deadpool incorporates actual third-person shooting, gun damage needs to remain comparatively high to keep a sense of challenge during the shooting-only sections. Mixing together shooting and slashing in the same arena doesn’t work because you can’t do both at the same time, meaning you’ll usually get shot while using melee and vice versa. It doesn’t sound entirely fair, does it? Scaling down the damage done by the firearm-wielding enemies or separating the two enemy types would have led to a game that felt less cheap. — Sounds like you just couldn’t handle Deadpool in all of his glory.

I've been known to kill the shit out of people.

I’ve been known to kill the shit out of people.

“All his glory?” Glory wouldn’t be the way I’d describe it. Combat does have its time to shine, mostly when the light combos and weapon switching allow you to easily slice through hordes of generic fodder without much thought.

But that’s the problem. Fights can usually be conquered by nonchalantly mashing the attack button and dodging when appropriate. Although this could be a blessing in disguise given that Deadpool doesn’t exactly flirt with the idea of having the most responsive controls. When compared to the greats, the combat has a lot of holes without much room for the much-desired nuance. However, most of it can be overlooked since the slow AI doesn’t pose much challenge or require your full attention. The simplicity is a double edged katana for Deadpool since it doesn’t make melee fights frustrating but it doesn’t make them all that interesting either. Flashy? For sure. Deep? Not as much.

Oh man, I’m not as cool as the emo singer, Nephilim guy nor am I allowed to be compared to the ashy, family-killer Greek freak. How will I ever live with myself? Happily and forever since I can’t die. — Then why is there a game over screen? —

I'm not running. It's called being strategic!

I’m not running. It’s called being strategic!

I’m damn sexy — even Helen Keller could see that– but my surroundings don’t seem to hold up to the attractiveness that oozes out of me. From the generic sewers that are in every single video game ever to the corporate buildings that are also in every single video game ever, no locale evokes the same sexiness that I do. Unimaginative browns and grays remind me of poop and even though poop is funny, it isn’t fun to actually look at. Again, I know I’m just too damn sexy – which was probably a damning task for those junior environmental artists to make something worth looking at other than me – but I couldn’t have yawned more looking at the visuals. The same goes for the hugely forgettable soundtrack. High Moon declined to let me compose the soundtrack — I’m basically a god on the air guitar — and now they are paying for it with literal cancer for the ears.

High Moon crafted an entire experience faithful to Deadpool’s literally insane character. A consistent stream of immature, brash humor greets you at every turn, references feel clever, and the violence is extremely over-the-top, all of which deliver a believable Deadpool. Ironing out the combat kinks and developing a distinct visual style could have pulled the pieces here together into a — A 6.5?!? What the fuck is this donkey ass bullshit? Did the check not clear? Is Spidey trying to sabotage me? My Metacritic score is going to plummet after this little publicity stunt here. I read the comments. You’re doing it for hits, aren’t you? I guess I need to lay off a bunch of the High Moon Studio’s staff, because this sure as shit wasn’t my fault. At least your mom loves me. She’s always down for a little DP. D-Pool out.

Loud mouth:

+Incredibly hilarious from beginning to end
+Self-aware stupidity makes the game far more endearing
+Combat has its moments…

All talk:

-But far too much of it contains annoying ranged enemies
-Melee combat doesn’t offer much depth
-The visuals and the music are generic

deadpool score

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