Saints Row IV Review

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Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: August 20, 2013

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Renowned for its lunacy and open-world gameplay, Saints Row: The Third was the game that transitioned the series from “kinda crazy” to full-on “hey we’ve got a dildo bat and gimps” levels of ridiculousness. Following that rambunctious circus act less than two years later, Saints Row IV‘s intentions seem clear: crank the insanity up to twelve and deliver an even stupider package covered in the Saints’ iconic purple hue. However, ratcheting up the zaniness has caused the lever to rebound and swing back in the opposite way.

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Sleeping Dogs Review

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Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: August 14, 2012

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Right off the bat, let me address the elephant in the room: no actual dogs are in Sleeping Dogs, let alone ones that aren’t awake. Strike one. You don’t even play as a dog. Strike two. Just like hockey, developer (and obvious liars) United Front Games were on the brink of striking out and that doesn’t even include Sleeping Dogs‘ hellish development cycle. It didn’t even look like Sleeping Dogs would ever see the light of day and if it did, we all had two possible taglines at the ready: “Dog Crap” or “Let Sleeping Dogs Lie.” Brilliant stuff. But now I am at a loss for taglines because Sleeping Dogs overcame its many obstacles and achieved something far greater than most cynical crystal balls could predict.
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Metro: Last Light Review

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Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: May 14, 2013

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Basically anyone can confirm that subways and metro systems are a drag to be in. There’s always that creepy, probably-a-pedophile dude giving you the death stare while the homeless man three seats away can’t seem to eat his crackers in an orderly fashion. No soul is ignorant enough to be happy while underground. If life is this fucked here before the nuclear apocalypse, then it must be uber-fucked after, right? Metro: Last Light, the sequel to Metro 2033, captures this phenomena, except swapping amputee bums with monsters and Russians with every chump forced to use public transit. After enduring the broken systems of Metro: Last Light, it seems comparable to these underground hell trains. It’s easy to see why it wasn’t named Party Bus: Last Light.
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Clash in the Clouds – Bioshock Infinite DLC Review

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Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: July 30, 2013

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Well, dammit. I already exhausted my spiel on challenge rooms just a few weeks ago for Guacamelee!. Thanks Irrational Games, now what am I supposed to jot down for Clash in the Clouds, the challenge room DLC for Bioshock Infinite? Regurgitating the same superlatives is a feasible option so I’ll do just that: Clash in Clouds is wonderful, combat-focused add-on worth the meager $5 admission fee for anyone who fancied the strategic battles found in the core campaign.
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